she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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