My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
