She is in my trunk
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
