he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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