Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the day after is always just damage control
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
