oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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