I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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