life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
