i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
