i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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