I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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