is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
