She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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