Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Can i not drive my cunt home
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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