Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
