my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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