you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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