Don't you send me to vm
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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