I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
