so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
