just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
