Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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