I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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