She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
