kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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