just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize