i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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