i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......