walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
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God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
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Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream