Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
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She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
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They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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