thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
