Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize