my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
