smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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