my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
