And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
