have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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