We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
