Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Why do girls always cry at the bar?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?

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  (586): Why do girls always cry at the bar? (586): What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night? (586): Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar? http://tfl.nu/joll
  Replies (1) Good night (715) Bad night (911)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.

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  (905): Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have. http://tfl.nu/x1lg
  Replies (8) Good night (694) Bad night (2096)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.

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  (919): I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx. http://tfl.nu/hq1e
  Replies (187) Good night (4032) Bad night (1884)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin

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  (915): What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin http://tfl.nu/xzqi
  Replies (52) Good night (863) Bad night (3264)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation

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  (443): I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation http://tfl.nu/w8jm
  Replies (76) Good night (7600) Bad night (1228)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless

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  (763): someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless http://tfl.nu/hdeq
  Replies (10) Good night (4558) Bad night (933)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship

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  (401): Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship http://tfl.nu/zpw1
  Replies (12) Good night (1038) Bad night (3444)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.

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  (503): I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over. http://tfl.nu/8vsu
  Replies (5) Good night (942) Bad night (2594)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball

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  (917): I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball http://tfl.nu/axxp
  Replies (24) Good night (567) Bad night (2758)
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  (415): View more from California

  You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women

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  (415): You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women http://tfl.nu/rghq
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (459)
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  (818): View more from California

  My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club

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  (818): My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club http://tfl.nu/p6gc
  Replies (13) Good night (1032) Bad night (1123)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.

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  (605): I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way. http://tfl.nu/xvcq
  Replies (6) Good night (650) Bad night (458)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into

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  (313): Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into http://tfl.nu/0v44
  Replies (1) Good night (268) Bad night (789)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave

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  (814): I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave http://tfl.nu/mtmf
  Replies (5) Good night (318) Bad night (828)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.

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  (403): I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that. http://tfl.nu/4xpt
  Replies (0) Good night (440) Bad night (236)

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