Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
please come you make the beer taste better
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I need to calm my uterus...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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