Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)

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  (650): Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day) http://tfl.nu/fh88
  Replies (40) Good night (1921) Bad night (4203)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be

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  (507): Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be http://tfl.nu/9ozv
  Replies (29) Good night (4680) Bad night (761)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.

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  (919): okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth. http://tfl.nu/6w2r
  Replies (26) Good night (1768) Bad night (7782)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.

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  (413): You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief. http://tfl.nu/eaos
  Replies (40) Good night (5177) Bad night (3453)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.

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  (425): I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque. http://tfl.nu/62jx
  Replies (4) Good night (866) Bad night (3728)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy

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  (517): These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy http://tfl.nu/omc1
  Replies (11) Good night (3437) Bad night (1158)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer

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  (203): Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer http://tfl.nu/j23z
  Replies (15) Good night (1694) Bad night (2356)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.

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  (210): Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors. http://tfl.nu/4w9v
  Replies (20) Good night (3800) Bad night (2099)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero

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  (847): i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero http://tfl.nu/upbm
  Replies (16) Good night (2606) Bad night (722)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?

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  (414): It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself? http://tfl.nu/nwby
  Replies (6) Good night (728) Bad night (1618)
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  (+02): View more from

  I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods

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  (+02): I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods http://tfl.nu/ntv5
  Replies (1) Good night (1127) Bad night (425)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me

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  (206): She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me http://tfl.nu/zp1n
  Replies (11) Good night (2309) Bad night (632)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.

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  (361): Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment. http://tfl.nu/oa4j
  Replies (1) Good night (1352) Bad night (541)
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  (714): View more from California

  He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.

  (1-714): View more from California

  I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass

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  (714): He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy. (1-714): I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass http://tfl.nu/19re
  Replies (0) Good night (798) Bad night (272)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.

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  (904): Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool. http://tfl.nu/cjt9
  Replies (1) Good night (307) Bad night (469)

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