Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.

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  (602): but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please. http://tfl.nu/sk7q
  Replies (14) Good night (838) Bad night (2392)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants

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  (815): the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants http://tfl.nu/kron
  Replies (6) Good night (4325) Bad night (926)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.

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  (412): I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8. http://tfl.nu/h2aq
  Replies (17) Good night (8327) Bad night (940)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is

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  (614): Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is http://tfl.nu/l5nn
  Replies (20) Good night (7023) Bad night (1747)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too

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  (210): I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too http://tfl.nu/8tiw
  Replies (10) Good night (7409) Bad night (838)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.

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  (407): Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously. http://tfl.nu/nqmc
  Replies (41) Good night (1005) Bad night (6229)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  That's why there are breakfast margaritas.

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  (206): That's why there are breakfast margaritas. http://tfl.nu/dzi9
  Replies (3) Good night (3237) Bad night (864)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.

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  (512): The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain. http://tfl.nu/r278
  Replies (6) Good night (1996) Bad night (815)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish

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  (772): Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish http://tfl.nu/fyel
  Replies (9) Good night (2264) Bad night (619)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.

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  (416): I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn. http://tfl.nu/iixt
  Replies (13) Good night (2884) Bad night (862)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.

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  (520): Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it. http://tfl.nu/2ax3
  Replies (12) Good night (2910) Bad night (691)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you

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  (602): All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you http://tfl.nu/oj33
  Replies (7) Good night (1835) Bad night (486)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP

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  (240): Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP http://tfl.nu/rq2g
  Replies (0) Good night (660) Bad night (388)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.

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  (415): I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not. http://tfl.nu/y17v
  Replies (4) Good night (583) Bad night (844)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.

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  (513): I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move. http://tfl.nu/stfw
  Replies (5) Good night (854) Bad night (348)

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