Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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