I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
