The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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