I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
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No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
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A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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