Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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