My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
