I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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