I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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