I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I checked into jail on foursquare
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
