is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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