Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
