Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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