I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize