Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Alive.
So much puke
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize