Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
