I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
