He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think a kid would responsible me up
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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