So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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