Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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