Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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